failure: 1a: ommission of occurance or performance
2a: a lack of success
3a: a falling short
perspective: 2b: the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance
success: 1: outcome, result
2b: favorable or desired outcome
I met someone this week that gave me the greatest clarity on the subject of failure. He was quite emphatic in his belief that his opportunity to have the life he desired had passed him by completely........at the age of 55. Long ago, he had taken the risk to pursue his dream career, his passion. He had to change the course of his life before things really took off. And now, many years later, he has a job he doesn't enjoy and he feels trapped..... not a happy person. When I suggested he pursue his dream now, Wow! Did I hit a nerve! He became upset, and said that was just not possible..... one does not become a ballerina at the age of 25, he explained, one becomes a ballerina starting at the age of 5!
In his mind his dream had died, and could not be resurrected.
Why not 'wrap your dream around who you are now?' I said. Redefine it, follow what makes you happy, it's not too late. No, no, no, that was just not going to work.
I could not disagree with him more!
"It's never too late to be what you might have been." ~ George Eliot
For a very long time, I have struggled with the idea of failure. For most of us, this goes back to our childhoods, where when our behavior did not produce the desired results for someone else - mainly our parents or teachers - we were told we had failed, we fell short, missed the mark, or screwed up. A lot of us (like me) were led to believe that failure in our youth would lead to a life of failure. I don't know about you, but I am at a point in my life where I am really tired of being told that I have failed at something just because it didn't turn out the way somebody else wanted! I want to feel motivated, inspired and valued! Time to shift my perspective of failure.
Dr. Wayne Dyer believes there is no such thing as failure. He says: "If you swing at a golf ball, and the ball dribbles off to the side, you haven't really failed, you've produced a result. The question in life isn't whether you fail, the question is, what do you do with the results you've produced?" Do you automatically give up, or do you try again? He believes that if you label yourself a failure, it becomes your reality. "Failure is another judgemental term. One person's failure is another person's enormous success."
(Cue angelic music......'Ahhhhhhhh!') Wow! How does THAT feel?
AND, if success by definition, is an outcome or result, who the hell is anyone to tell you you've failed??? It's time to be kind to ourselves folks! Stop listening to our inner saboteurs, or our outer ones, for that matter! It's time to redefine failure, and to give oursleves a break for once, people!
And this does not mean we're not passionate, competitive or driven. This just means that we are shifting our perespective, and redefining what the desired outcome means to us.
So who cares if I haven't been a ballerina since I was 5? I'm dancing to my own music at the age of 46. It's not exactly Swann Lake, but from my perspective, I'm the prima ballerina in my life.
Thank you God for my healing.
Namste,
Nicole
