2012 - Joyful Sadness

1/1/13, New Year's Day

I love New Year's Day.
The first day of a brand new year.
A fresh start, a clean slate, a mulligan, a new beginning.
A day for looking back on the last 365 days and taking stock in what we have. Being grateful for the blessings and the lessons, the opportunities and the successes, the joy and the sadness.

I usually love the holiday season, it's my favorite time of year. I love that Christmas music starts playing the day after Thanksgiving. I love the lights, the decorations, the traditions and having my family near. But this year was different. It just didn't feel the same.

As positive a person as I am, I found it difficult to find my Christmas spirit in the wake of a multitude of overwhelming events this year. The profound sadness of the tragic shootings in Newtown CT almost completely derailed me in early December. A lackluster economy made it's presence known in retail sales and the worry about the impending 'fiscal cliff' was just too much. And I was not alone. So many people I encountered seemed to feel the same. They say that you attract to yourself what you are sending out. But try as I might to have the holiday spirit, it just didn't work.
So this New Year's Day brings me a sense of relief. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad the holiday season is over. It makes me so sad to feel this way.

But as I look back on the past year I am so grateful. It was a great year filled with new friends and new experiences, fantastic opportunities, lots of laughter and LOVE. So many things that brought me so much joy.
And this year I resolve to do more of those things that bring me joy, and to continue to take steps to fulfill my purpose. I will (always) have hope and look forward to each day with a heart and soul that are open to all the glorious possibilities. I will also embrace the sadness, for it is in fully recognizing that, I am able to grow.

I know it's been a very long time since you've heard from me. I hope you'll excuse me if I'm a little rusty and not making much sense. My inner light has been a bit dim lately.
But Grace will get me through. It always does.

Happy New Year to you. May 2013 bring you many blessings.

Namaste,
Nicole


“And now let us welcome the new year, full of things that never were.”   ~ Rainer Maria Rilke